Remembering Terabithia
by Mac-alicious
Summary: He remembers Terabithia. He remembers Leslie. Because someone has to remember. He can't forget, not now, not ever. Because that would mean having to forget about her.


A/N: I guess this is movieverse...mainly because I've never actually read the book. But who knows it might fit the book just as much as the movie. I don't know. Um the he, I refer to, is of course Jess. I don't ever say his name though, I'm pretty sure. Um it's just what it is, Jess remembering Terabithia as he's about to go off to college (and I don't know the odds/whatever to get full rides, but for the sake of the story work with it : ). R&R, please! Thanks! -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own.

**Remembering Terabithia**

He is older now. He'll be graduating high school soon. He is actually going to get out of their small town. He was going to make something of himself. He was lucky to earn a full ride scholarship to study art. He is going to be something bigger and brighter than he had ever imagined for himself. As a kid he never could have dreamed up the life he is heading into. He never dared reach for something that far out of his grasp, before _Her_.

He had long ago accepted the chain of events that had lead to Leslie's death. He had to accept it because no matter how many times you replayed all the what ifs, what might have beens, and maybes it didn't change anything. The rope still broke. Leslie Burke would still be dead. No obsession over what caused it could change that very tragic reality.

No matter how much he wishes he could take it all back, he can't. He knows that. He knows that too well. He wants nothing more than to have her back, have her by his side. But he can't have her and that's just life. Unfair. It's no one's fault. It just isn't fair, but as they say: _No one said life was fair._

The first couple years were the worst. He had been an outsider before _Her_. She gave him a place. She was his place. He had known his place was beside her. He might not have been as strong as her, or had as much faith as her--or was it just _belief_? She believed more than anyone he knew. She could believe in anything and that's what made her so special. She believed fiercely and completely. She believed in him.

To be without that so suddenly, was a shock to his system. He was suddenly floating alone in an empty sea--with nothing to hold him up. She had given him hope of something better. With her gone, he felt hopeless. He went throught life--not living--just existing. He felt weak those first couple of years, because he didn't have her to convince him he was strong and that he had something to believe in--_himself_.

He tried to replace her with May Belle. No replace isn't the right word, he could _never_ replace _Her_. He tried to _substitute_ her with May Belle. It was never the same though. May Belle wasn't _Her_, and she never would be.

Eventually he had learned to accept that she was gone. That he couldn't replace her, he couldn't bring her back. She was a one of a kind. Unique. A once in a lifetime. And that was that. He didn't quite move on, but he understood and accepted it.

The next few years weren't as bad as the previous ones. He didn't let others get him down, because he could see and feel the strength she had helped grow in him. And he was starting to believe--in himself. He learned to move forward, instead of always looking back. And he was doing good things for himself and his family, for the right reasons. And he could see the world through an open mind, the way she taught him. And he could think of her without feeling that the world was over.

Yet he has come back to this place. Remembering Terabithia. Remembering Leslie. Because someone has to remember.

May Bell has long since pushed the fantasy world into the back of her mind. As a young child, she had been in awe of the magnificence of it, but as she got older, the appeal of it diminished. It lost is magic for her. He understood. May Belle had never experienced it in its fullest. She had never felt the entire power of it. She hadn't understood what it had meant for them. So eventually she had let it go. She never _needed_ it--with a desperation. SHe had it handed to her, she hadn't asked for it. Because of that, letting go wasn't hard to do. And when she let go, she began to forget. All she would remember eventually was the game she used to play with her older brother. But he would never forget.

They had created Terabithia. They had needed a place where they could throw away their inhibitions and be confident in their true selfs. The ability to open his mind to the experience was a turning point in his life. He knows Terabithia is too much a part of him to ever forget. Just like she is too much a part of him to ever forget.

He hasn't been here for a long time. He stopped coming when he began high school--around the same time he came to his grand understanding of life, death and their circumstances. It wasn't that he didn't want to come or he was trying to avoid it. He just didn't need it as much. At least not for the same reasons he had right after her death. He had gone because he could feel her. She was embedded in every inch of Terabithia. And he needed to feel her. He felt it was the only way he could--to go there. He needed to feel connected to her and he felt the only way was through Terabithia.

He learned that he could feel her anywhere. She was in his heart, in his soul. As a part of him, he could always feel her. And it didn't matter where he was, he would always be connected to her. That was the magic of Terabithia had given them.

So as he stands at the edge of the bridge to Terabithia, he remembers. The wood has splintered, looking ready to fall apart and in some places it has. The branches sag on the sides. Planks have gone missing over the years. All the wood has taken on a well worn look. The paint on the sign has faded--it has weathered the times--but he can still faintly make out the words.

_**Nothing Crushes Us.**_

He smiles at the memories and wipes away the stray tears that have managed to escape his eyes. He could forget, he could push it away. But he doesn't need that to move on. In fact, to move on he needs to hold onto it. He can't forget, not now, not ever. Because that would mean having to forget _Her_, and that he could never forget. It would be letting go of the biggest part of his life.

As he gets ready to continue on with his life, he will remember Terabithia, remember the magic, remember Leslie. Because someone needs to keep those memories alive. Becasue _someone _has to remember.


End file.
